My first novel, Girl in the Mirror, will be released on September 1. On the back of the book are the words, “Look in the mirror. Who do you see?”

The main character in my novel, Christen, can’t please herself or anyone else. She changes her personality to accommodate the women she dates, and eventually ends up not recognizing her own reflection. When she looks in the mirror, her inner self stares back, but her inability to be alone and tricks her heart into thinking it’s in love.

I’ve been there. My inner and outer me didn’t always match.

I knew I was fine with hair down to my booty and thick in all of the right places. My head was too big to fit in the mirror. I was self-absorbed and shallow. I changed my outside so much that it no longer matched my inside.

When I look in the mirror today, I see my mother. I’ve seen my mother when I looked in the mirror ever since I was a young girl. I hated looking like my mother.

I have her wide mouth, her small gap between her two front teeth, and her easily scarred skin.

I never wanted to look like her.

My mother was a Plain Jane. She never attracted much attention. She never did anything to cause the spotlight to shine on her. She made some of the worst romantic decisions.

I was afraid of turning into her.

She died last year of cancer. Now the only time I get to see her face is when I look in the mirror. I don’t hate it so much now.

Tell ELIXHER what you see when you look in the mirror for a chance to win a signed copy of my new novel.

– Alix B. Golden

Alix B. Golden has been filling spiral notebooks with words since she learned how to write. Her debut novel, Girl in the Mirror, will be released in September. She is currently working on her second novel with a tentative end of year release date. Alix currently resides in Atlanta, GA with her partner photographer/poet/sweetheart, Billie Simone and their diva cat, Loki. 

2 Responses

  1. Leo

    When I look in the mirror I see a stranger.
    I don’t look like my siblings.
    I have brown eyes to their green.
    I have dark skin to their fair.
    I was told I looked like my dad’s sister; maybe I was her love child?
    I have never liked what I see but for once in my life I am determined to do something about it instead of assuming the image is permanent.

  2. Tatiana

    When I look in the mirror… what do I see?

    To piggyback off of your post, I never saw my mother when I looked in the mirror. For ages I wondered if I was adopted (or something) because I never saw the resemblance. We don’t have the same skin shade, the same shape face, the same anything – for the most part.

    So when I looked in the mirror I saw my acne, my eyebrows that my mother felt were too bushy, my unruly hair that I didn’t know how to manage. I wasn’t sure who or what I looked like; but I definitely didn’t think I was too cute, or attractive. I’m a complete Plain Jane, invisible to the rest of the people around me.

    For the longest I avoided mirrors, and rejected what I saw in them. And today, i still avoid them because I much prefer the image I have of myself, versus the one I keep seeing. Maybe one day the images will line up – but not today. Today I’ll gaze at my internal mirror.


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