I just don’t wanna see that shit in public. Don’t bring that around my kids. You don’t have to be so flamboyant.I don’t want gay people anywhere near me. That’s just nasty. I don’t want no gay person touching me. It’s just unnatural. The bible says it’s a sin. That doesn’t look right.
Phrases like these are usually accompanied by “I’m not homophobic but…”, “I have nothing against gay people but…” or “I have gay friends.” These disclaimers do not make the expressions that precede or follow them any less anti-gay. In fact, homophobia, much like present-day racism, often isn’t blatant. An individual does not have to walk around spouting derogatory slurs to fit the definition of a homophobe.
the fear of or antipathy toward lesbians and gay men.
Homophobia can manifest in much more subtle ways; for instance, being uncomfortable around gay people or avoiding certain events because you’re worried people will think you’re gay. Automatically assuming a gay person is making advances towards you, saying “That’s so gay,” “No homo” or using the terms “lesbian,” “gay” or “queer” in a pejorative way also fits the bill.
Psychology. an unconscious defense mechanism used to reduce anxiety by denying thoughts, feelings, or facts that are consciously intolerable.
Many people are in denial of their homophobia and reduce it to them not “agreeing with” or “supporting homosexuality.” But what exactly does it mean to not “support homosexuality”? That’s similar to saying you don’t “support” Blackness or you don’t “agree” with being a woman. It’s not a debate or something that’ll go away. It just is.
What can go away is heteronormativity and the sense of privilege. Simply having “gay friends” doesn’t cure that, just like having Black friends doesn’t automatically mean you’re not a racist.