I recently read a post from writer and lecturer Susan Cain about how the “Quiet Revolution” or the plight of introverts is likened to the fight for marriage equality. While introverts seek to control how their energy is managed in a largely extroverted society, those of the queer variety seek tolerance about who they love in a heterosexist world. Both are movements for people working to be acknowledged as equal, just as good as anyone else.
Over time, I have become more secure in my introversion and my sexuality, but my family is adjusting. As someone who was rear-ended and injured in a car accident shortly after I came out, I know adjustments at the hands of a chiropractor or a life-altering event can be painful and put you in weird positions.
My godmother asked me if my chiropractor was going to “straighten me out,” to which I jokingly responded, “Nope.” I had been trying to straighten myself out for years. I am as queer as the day is long; and even my handsome Adonis-like chiropractor could not fix that. And I didn’t want him to.
This last July 4th weekend, we celebrated the independence that some of my loved ones have sacrificed dearly to protect. Today, I enjoy another type of freedom: an internal one. That is what it looks like to love yourself fully–to know that the Maker of the universe loves you, that you are worth His time, an expression of His effort, a show-off of His skill, fearfully and wonderfully made to say the least. To not hide, but be seen and embraced…even if only by myself.
So as an introverted, Black, queer woman, I celebrate all facets of my life as well the freedom to enjoy them, proudly and visibly. Self-acceptance is the greatest form of self-care. That’s the thing about a quiet revolution: the impact may not always be heard, but it is certainly felt.
Stephane Louis, LMFT is a therapist, writer, instructor, introvert, and PhD candidate in South Florida. As a queer woman of Afro-Caribbean descent, she explores different ways that culture, family, identity, and sexuality can impact our lives. Stephane is fascinated by stories of vulnerability, always looking for strengths and solutions. She helps people feel safe to be themselves and go from where they are to where they can be. Follow her on Twitter @steph_theory.